Not so Blind
by Myrddin Ignis Magus
Summary: Series of one-shots & multi-shots where Harry questions the wizarding world, his friends, teachers, and 'mentors', & the bad going on around him. Includes some of the Marauders, and other humorous shots! Some will follow-on-ish, some canon-ish, and some will follow over used cliché AU's in amusing ways! I hope you enjoy! Any pairing! Featuring some femme-Harry, and femme-?
1. I'm a Wizard?

**Not so Blind**

"**I'm a Wizard…?"**

"So… I'm a wizard…?" the boy asked the large man, blinking owlishly.

"Yep, an' a migh'y good en I'd wager!" he boomed out loudly.

"And my parents were a witch and wizard too?" he asked, brightening in the knowledge that his parents loved him.

The giant of a man nodded his head.

The boy frowned. "Then you took me to… 'them'?" he asked gesturing to his cowering 'relatives'.

"I sure did!" he agreed eagerly.

"Then you gave me to some old guy?"

"Great wizard tha' man, great wizard!" he said, nodding again.

The boy rose an eyebrow. "So then this old man left me on, their," he nodded at his relatives. "Doorstep in the cold morning of November first after I was blasted in the face by the most deadly cursed ever created and survive?"

"Yep, tha' about covers it," he agreed. "I'm glad you understan'," he said with a bright grin.

"So, let me get this straight," the boy said, and the giant nodded for him to continue, eager. "You kidnapped me after my mother and father had just been murdered. Then you give me away to some old man who then dumped me on a doorstep in winter, in the dead of night while I was just fifteen months old where I could have died of hypothermia, or wandered off if I woke up, got hit by a car or kidnapped. Then leaving me with magic hating racists who would love for me to die horribly because of what I am. That's not mentioning nobody bothered to take me to see a doctor?"

"W-well umm…" the large man spluttered out as he looked at the eleven year old boy, no longer smiling. "He said it's all for the Greater Good. That you'll be 'appy with ya family. He says ya safe 'ere."

"Yeah, I was so safe and happy!" he said sarcastically. "I'm out! Why would I want to go to this 'school' that is run by some whacko old man who hired you to kidnap me and then dump me on the doorstep of racist strangers! Good evening sir, but you can leave now!"

He turned away and left the room and the flabbergasted giant.

**End!**

**A/N:** _this is going to be a place where I post some amusing, Harry Potter fics where Harry is observant and not going to just up and accept everything. They'll mostly be one-shot stories. However, some may be related in some sense, but that's for you to believe or not. I'll be putting up a few ideas here and there I have floating around without turning them into a full story._

_I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and maybe I'll get something else out next. Thanks for being such great readers. I may start a Naruto one-shot fic like this in the future too. Or if you would prefer I'll just make this a cross over and add in the Naruto-fics here._


	2. The Boy-Who…?

**Not so Blind**

"**The Boy-Who…?"**

"So… OK, I think I understand!" the young boy of just eleven that day said with a great big nod and a humungous smile aimed at the giant of a man.

"See… ya a wizard, 'Arry!"

"Harry!" he corrected.

"Right, 'Arry!" he agreed smiling.

"Harry!" the boy again corrected with that megawatt grin still in place as he strained to look up. "Did you know you have crumbs in your beard?" he asked, smile never leaving as the giant man brushed his face looking embarrassed.

"Righ', shall we go then 'Arry?"

"Its right, and Harry!" the boy corrected again, which seemed to make the large man uncomfortable. "Shall we go then Mr. Hagrid?" he asked eagerly.

"Just 'Agrid is fine 'Arry!"

"Oh, OK Agrid!" he readily agreed, which made the large man's eye twitch.

However, Agrid smiled after a moment and opened the door out into the bright sun of number four Privet Drive. He led the boy out, leaving the boys terribly terrified relatives behind. He didn't seem to mind, and they seemed more than eager for them to leave.

"So, Agrid. How are we going to get to this… 'magical' world?" he asked eagerly.

"By train o' course," he responded as if that should have been obvious. "But firs', we gotta ge' ta the station, so… I got some of ya muggle money!"

"I see. So that's what you call us, huh?" the boy asked, eager for some more information as the giant man wasn't very well informed himself, so he has to take what he can get.

"Yep, t'ats right, 'Arry!"

"And we're going to get to the Diagon Alley by train?"

"O' course we are!" he agreed.

Harry nodded his head in thought. "So the Diagon Alley must be somewhere in the UK!" he mused to himself thoughtfully.

However, Hagrid was getting confused so just nodded along anyway and answered. "Its in London!" he admitted as they finally made it to the local train station where the large man had trouble sorting out the 'muggle' money to pay for their tickets, so Harry had to help him with it, and keeping the change.

They managed to catch the next train where Harry noticed something surprising.

"Despite his non-human size and status the people are only giving him curious glances. I wonder why?" he mumbled in thought and Hagrid pretended he wasn't listening to the child's nonsensical ramblings.

However, after some more questions, some half-assed answers, and Harry trying, but failing to teach the man the correct way to say his name they arrived at the correct train station and departed.

"Righ' this way 'Arry!" the large man said after a while of jogging to keep up with him pointing at this filthy looking pub.

"I see," he replied, looking it over in awe and comprehension. "So its hidden with some kind of illusion to look like a dirty old pub into a cesspool of a bar none of these 'muggles' would ever want to be seen dead in, let alone buying a drink here. That's very clever of you Agrid!" he said, patting the man's arm in praise.

"Umm… well, 'Arry, I did't do it me self!" he replied chuckling at the praise.

Harry shrugged, smiling up at him. "That's OK Agrid. I'm sure you make a better bodyguard anyway!"

"Well, le's go in shall we?" he asked, but just barged the door open proudly into the bar, and Harry couldn't help but grimace as he looked around.

"This place stinks, but then I guess this must be where you bring your garbage so that the 'muggles' can take it away for you without being the wiser!"

"Hagrid!"

An old man who had a stoop to his steps, and a huge hump on his back greeted Agrid. He was covered in filth, stinking of poop, wearing a black with filth-covered apron. Harry grimaced. The man didn't look like he was wearing any trousers, and he certainly wasn't wearing a top, GROSS!

"Tom!" the giant man greeted with a handshake.

"Came for a drink…?" he went to asked when he saw the small raven-haired boy moving back from him. "Hello there boy, its alright… what's that cream coloured thing you got there pointed at me. Is that a toy? Hagrid, who's the kid and what's weird clothes he's wearing, grey, red and black, elasticated clothes, muggle-born eh, new muggle fashion? And a badge…?"

"I-I am a-a Star Force officer, sir!" he retorted shakily holding his phaser pointed at the scary man. "I-I demand that you take me to your Starship Diagon Alley right now and to your Captain!" he squeaked out, worried while more people had gathered, confused. "I should warn you. My phaser is set to…" he gulped. "I-I am Commander Harry Potter of the USS Warship Prometheus!"

"Harry Potter, bless my stars!" the filthy man said in joy beyond joy, the other people spreading the word.

More weirdoes, wearing robes looking gleeful as the filthy bartender went to grab him, soon surrounded him. However, Harry was panicking in fear, his phaser shaking and he pressed the button on top. It lit up as it normally would, with a red glow, but this time he was so terrified a golden beam shot out, missing the surprised bartender and hitting this pale man with red turban on his head, vaporising him.

All eyes widened as a ghostly red Spector was left in the man's place screaming in rage. "I'll get you next time for this Potter!" it hissed like a snake-man and flew off through the wall while Harry was speechless.

The bars patrons suddenly cheered in joy as they tried to mob him. "Let's hear it for Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Vaporises!"

Harry could only scream, but no matter how many times he pressed the button on his phaser, it wouldn't vaporise any more of them.

**End! **


	3. Heavenly Assistance

**Not so Blind**

**Heavenly Assistance**

"Harry… umm… what are you doing?" she asked her boyfriend, confused.

He smiled at her. "So, what is it Ginny? We've been going out for a while now, and… well, do we even get along real well?" he asked her, surprising her.

"Well, I think so," she replied before startling. "I-I mean yes we do. Of course we do Harry. I'll be here every way I can to help and support you!" she readily agreed, nodding her head.

He frowned, confused. "B-but I don't understand. I've just, well, just got this sudden urge to believe that you've been spiking me with love potion and realise that I'm in love with Hermione Granger instead!"

She just looked to him oddly. "No… I've not been spiking you, look at me, why the hell would I need to. I'm hot!"

Harry nodded in agreement, conceding her point as she gave him a little spin, her skirt drifting up enough to give him a very quick flash of her cute white underwear. "Umm… well, yeah, I get the point. B-but I feel like you've been ordered to spy on me or something by someone, and keep me in the light as well!"

"Oh, that… I have… odd really," she agreed, smiling at him while he went buggy eyed. "Yeah, I know. They pay me too, but I don't tell them anything really. Its like being paid to do something fun, like swimming, or watching a really funny prank, and then…" she shrugged, amused.

"So… you're being paid to date me, but you want to anyway?" he asked, confounded by this news. "Then why am I always paying for everything?"

"I'm not really supposed to tell you," she replied. "But I promised that if you asked, I would tell you everything. They're pretty jerk-ish you know, the things they recommend. Not that I don't want to, but seriously, this is my virginity they're talking about, and they're so embarrassing. I'll lose it to you when I'm good and ready. I'm only fifteen-!"

"I have an evil Dark Army of douches after my neck! I might not live that long!" Harry quickly blurted out, shocking her.

"I-I hadn't thought about that," she said worried for him. "OK, I guess. It is you, you're cute, my hero, and nice, and… well, OK!" she readily agreed. "Just… just be gentle OK… for our first time!"

"Sweet!" he said while they both blushed and held hands.

"What about me?"

They were surprised as a whole gaggle of girls spoke at once, behind them, giving Harry this look. He gulped as it looked to be every girl at school, Slytherins included, and Hermione right in the lead giving him a wink as she waved a suspiciously love coloured vile full of potion at him.

Ginny nodded her head. "OK, I'll share just this once, just because he might die in the war!" she said smiling. "I get to choose orders and I'm his girlfriend so I'm going first…!"

_**Special Report from the Daily Prophet!**_

_It is with great sadness today in this newspaper that I report the death of Harry James Potter, our saviour, the Boy-Who-Lived…_

"It's how we would all want to go!" the dark haired man said with proud tears falling from his eyes.

"I'm so proud of you Harry!" another dark haired man exclaimed.

"Thanks dad!" he replied from his observation cloud in heaven, reading the Daily Prophet paper over the shoulder of some crying witch on Earth.

"Sirius, James, cut it out!"

"But Lily!" her deceased husband said playfully but stopped at her glare as they continued reading passed the reports of Harry's death.

_On a more positive note. The Boy-Who-Lived rid us of Voldemort because of the connection through his scar with more loving than the Dark Lord could stomach, dying a seventy-year-old virgin of hypertension and stress, which led to his heart attack and stroke..._

_We thank you Harry Potter, we all pray that you finally get the peace you deserve. You are an inspiration to young men everywhere._

_On an unrelated topic, for some unknown reasons, depression in all of the girls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have resulted in unprecedented numbers of girls having committed suicide…_

"Ginny, was that…?"

Ginny just kissed him smiling into his lips.

"Don't forget us Harry!" the other girls cried out happily, as they were piled up on the small cloud behind them.

"I don't mind sharing!" Ginny mumbled back into his kiss.

Harry just hopes the afterlife has an afterlife.

**End!**


	4. The Lost Chapter: The Cookie of Doom!

**Not so Blind**

**The Lost Chapter: The Cookie of Doom!**

"S-Sirius…?" James Potter stuttered out slowly. His cheeks paling as he looked around the coffee table they sat at together. Remus had forced them to finish their homework as the weekend is nearly over.

He had just finished his last bit; an essay on the proper use for Wolfsbane for Professor Slughorn. It's his OWL year so he figured he would at least try to get a good grade. Then perhaps Lily will finally give him a chance.

"Yeah, what is it?" he asked as he rubbed his nose and smudged some ink on it. He looked frustrated, and James knew it's because essays and other boring stuff like that just weren't easy for him. "You look like you've seen a ghost," he smirked, snickering at his 'humour' as at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry seeing ghosts is a regular thing.

James just rolled his eyes and glared. "This is serious for once…" he paused and glared harder. "And don't say it… its getting old. I've lost my cookie!" he cried out in frustration and horror as he again checked the table.

"A cookie…?" Sirius asked laughing at him. "Bloody hell, just get a new one!"

"You don't understand!" he yelled out in panic. "It's the Cookie of Doooooooom!" he cried out searching under his books again while Sirius just blinked stupidly as he heard thunder explode from somewhere before shrugging it off and laughing. "It's not funny Sirius. The Cookie of Doom!" he near screamed in his panic while the thunder made them jump again. However, he just continued anyway. "Note the capital letters in all the right places. This is bad. If someone eats that and it gets traced back to me… oh sweet Merlin I'll be screwed, and not in the good way!"

"So, what does this cookie do?" Sirius had to ask. He was now curious. If it were too amusing, he might not give a dam.

James shuddered, looking around to make sure no one but Sirius could hear him. "I don't know, but it has to be bad right. I mean, it's The Cookie of Doom!" the thunder pounded their eardrums from somewhere outside, and they were not the only students in the common room looking around, confused. "Where the hell is that thunder coming from?" he mildly wondered as it is sunny outside without a cloud in the sky.

Sirius just shrugged. "Well, how do you know it's really, The Cookie of…" he trailed off as he heard a faint rumble. "Well, that it's the You-Know-Cookie if you don't know what will happen if someone eats it?"

"Because it has to do something cool? I messed up the potion," he replied secretively. "Plus it's called The Cookie of Doom!" he cried in hysterics as thunder exploded outside again. They both rushed over to look outside, but it was still bright and hot, not a cloud to be seen. "The Cookie of Doom…!" he tried in curiosity.

Thunder boomed and they watched a streak of lightning slide across the sky out of nowhere. "And, that seems to keep happening," he answered. "Ominous thunder and lightning has to mean something doesn't it?"

"I think you're right," he shakily replied. "We should find The You-Know-Cookie!"

James nodded in agreement and they quickly searched the table and even their dorm room, but they couldn't find it anywhere.

They were both exhausted when they finally returned to the common room to find it a mess. It looked like a hurricane had blast through, and several students were curled up and whimpering while others were stunned and hanging from their ankles but a certain spell some dipshite they don't like came up with, which they stole.

They rushed over to the nearest. It was Lily's friend blonde haired girl friend.

"Alice, what happened?" James asked the whimpering girl.

She just looked at him shaking. "L-Lily… went crazy and weird… *cough*. We tried to s-stop her and get her to the nurse's office, but… *shudders*. She beat us all up… she said… she… *cough-cough*!"

Sirius and James gulped as they looked at each other. "If I go down you're going down with me," James said as Alice passed out from fright.

"I didn't make the cookie!" he retorted but knew by James' expression that he didn't care. "Ok, we've got to go and stop Lily before she does anything else!"

"Alright!" he agreed and he led Sirius out of the common room. They grimaced as the walls were covered in propaganda posters. He snorted as he read something.

"Albus Dumbledore is the real Dark Lord, run, hide, help me, Magical Girl Lily, and bring about his downfall!"

They both couldn't help but laugh. "Well, that explains a lot," Sirius said smirking. "I always thought Dumbledore was just senile, but looking at it maybe he is evil!"

James rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh. "Do you have any idea how much trouble we're going to be in if someone finds out… oh, crap, she's going to try vanquishing Dumbledore!"

Sirius couldn't help but snicker. "Come on. I have got to see this!" he laughed as he led the way. "If we're going to get into trouble, we might as well enjoy the show."

James could only nod in agreement, as they followed the posters to where they led to the Great Hall. They paused for a moment as they could hear fighting going on in the hall. They quickly slipped in and tried hard not to laugh as the students watched in stupefied awe.

The Death Nibblers, including archenemy Snape where in severe states of distress having had been tied up, painted, and in Snape's case his once nice hair was a splattering of grease. However, looking to a wall to see Albus Dumbledore screaming in anger for Lily to let him down from was priceless. He had been bound, and stuck to the ceiling with his beard, and hair turned pink. Some teachers were trying to get him down but having no luck, and he couldn't help himself as his arms were stick together, and his wand missing.

Though, that was hilarious Lily was battling both McGonagall and Flitwick, and winning. She had changed her clothes for a black school skirt hanging halfway down her thighs, and a slender top and robe with a sailor like tie-collar in Gryffindor red and gold. She wore a golden head band with Gryffindor coat of arms on the centre.

Her slender robe is only done up around her waist and allowed for her legs to be seen. She was wearing black half boots with Gryffindor socks up to just above her knees. Lily's hair was tied back with a red ribbon, and she wore black gloves. Her emerald eyes were alight with justice.

Lily had a wand in each hand (having stolen Dumbledore's) and was flinging and deflecting spells as they came. McGonagall and Flitwick were being pushed back.

"I cannot lose to you villains!" Lily cried out as she started pushing the worried Professors back. "I will get justice for all those he has wronged. He will be placed in jail along with these evil Death Eater recruits. Then I'll track down Voldemort and destroy him!"

"Wow, everyone is so shocked they didn't flinch," James said in awe. "Damn stupid You-Know-Cookie!"

"Do you think we should try helping?" Sirius asked. He was having too much fun watching and didn't want to end up tied up and beaten by a girl.

James looked to Sirius and back to Lily before shaking his head. "Na… what's the worst that could happen?"

"For justice, and love, and the power of Gryffindor…!" Lily ranted as she thought. "Oh, and the power of the moon…!" she rattled on looking pleased with herself.

"What's the moon got to do with anything?" James asked looking confused now.

Sirius just shrugged. "I don't know mate, but I don't want to mess with her!"

"Yeah, me either," James agreed quickly. "Let's get out of here!"

**_XxxXXxxX_**

Lily giggled as she gagged all of her captured enemies to stop all of their empty threats and chained and shackled them all in the dungeons. It was unfortunate that after she defeated McGonagall with her awesome powers that she had to defeat all the other teachers too. It had looked like some students thought about attacking her, but one kind smile and they changed their ways. She'll have to keep a watch out just in case.

Finally shackling Dumbledore while he glared his evil at her. She shook her head in pity. "If only you used your powers for good, we could have been on the same side. This will teach you for messing with Magical Girl Lily!" she giggled as she made some silly poses before locking him in his cell.

He just sighed in defeat as she skipped off whistling a tune. If he ever gets out of this mess he will never live down his defeat by a fifteen year old girl. Whoever did this to her is going to pay big. If he can get free. He struggled for an hour or so before realising its going to be harder than that.

Lily meanwhile had returned to the Gryffindor common room where all of the Gryffindor's ran to move out of her way as she twiddled her wands. James and Sirius looked at each other nervously wondering whether they should sneak out later to free her prisoners or not. They probably won't, after all they don't want to get into trouble.

They certainly don't want to get on the wrong side of Magical Girl Lily!

_"Sirius…!" Harry Potter interrupted his godfather while they sat in a room at Grimauld Place where Buckbeak the hippogriff lived. Sirius was telling Harry some amusing stories about his father and him at school. "There is no way my mum was made crazy by a cookie!"_

_Sirius shuddered at the memory. "Trust me Harry, its true!" he was quick to defend himself. "Your mum had imprisoned most of the staff and at least a quarter of Slytherin House!"_

_"Yeah, right," Harry said doubtfully. "Just because of this Cookie of Doom!?" he said as he jumped when a boom of thunder exploded outside even though it was bright out. Harry's mouth just hung open in shock._

_The door then opened and Remus Lupin stood their grinning. "Are you telling him the story of The You-Know-Cookie, and Magical Girl Lily?"_

_"Yeah, good times," he said laughingly. "Come in, Harry doesn't believe me!"_

_Remus chuckled as he closed the door and took a seat. "I know it might be hard to believe, but James really did create the… You-Know-Cookie. She was scarier than Voldemort. I bet she could have defeated him given the chance. Where did you get too?"_

_"She just came back after locking up Dumbledore…" Sirius said chuckling at the memory. Harry just sat dumbfounded as he realised they weren't making it up._

_Remus laughed, shaking his head. "Sorry Harry, but it gets better from there…!"_

_Harry just sat and listened as Remus continued the story of The Cookie of Doom! He started as the thunder boomed. He sighed. His life was crazy enough as it is._

_**to be continued…**_


	5. The None Champion: Take One

**Not so Blind**

**The None Champion**

**Take One**

"So… I have to compete Professor?" he asked nervously as the 'other' champions looked at him in some degree of loathing, and the teachers' suspicion.

However, the old man, nodded gravely. "I'm afraid so, Harry m'boy. Your name came out of the goblet. It is tad amount to a magical binding contract!"

"A contract? I see," he replied thoughtfully while that weird Barty Crouch dude nodded along in agreement. "So… this must be a legal matter, so… yes I know!" he said, brightening and startling everyone by his change in mood. "This must be some kind of legal matter. Do not worry Professor Dumbledore. I know what to do!" he said happily.

"You do?" several of the rooms occupants blurted out, the Professor included.

"Of course," he agreed, rolling his eyes as if it should be obvious. "I'll have to call the fraud division of the aurors office and report this right away. I bet they'll bring in loads of crack teams of C.S.I and the con artist will be discovered in no time at all!"

They could only watch in bewilderment as Harry Potter charged off out of the antechamber of the Great Hall.

"W-wait, Harry!" the old man called, concerned, rushing out to catch him.

However, nowhere. They could not find him. The staff looked everywhere, and eventually found the fourteen-year-old boy when he returned a few hours later with a troupe of aurors. Dumbledore tried to blow it all over, but within two hours, Harry was found to have been telling the truth, and that he had never gotten close to the Goblet of Fire. In fact, it turned out he was one of the few people at school who hadn't.

That left Harry smiling as he went up to his tower while the investigators went about their business. He found a Gryffindor party going full swing, and he didn't want to disappoint them by telling them he wasn't champion anymore, so let it drop for now and enjoyed himself.

Though, it was disappointing that he couldn't find his bestest best bud Ron anywhere to tell him the good news.

That's not to mention his other best bud Hermione charging away, annoyed with him for some odd reason.

Walking through into the dorms later that evening Harry had a beaming smile.

"Having fun, Potter!?"

He must admit, for a moment he thought Malfoy had snuck in to molest him or some such. However, it was Ron, glaring from his bed, and Harry just blinked in surprise before his grin returned ten-fold.

"Guess what!" Harry declared in glee.

"You're school champion!" he spat out his reply. "Yeah, I heard, so how did you do it?!" he demanded with a spiteful sneer that could put Malfoy's to shame.

"I didn't," Harry replied nervous, and confused.

"Whatever, liar!"

"Prick!" Harry mumbled just loud enough for Ron to hear. He wasn't going to tell him about the magical C.S.I guys clearing his name now, the jerk can sooooooo forget that!

The next morning in the Great Hall, everyone who had been mean about Harry being a cheat had the shock of their lives as they found out Mad-Eye-Moody was really a Death Eater being taken away in chains. The real Moody was found locked up in his trunk and the fake put Harry's name in to try kidnapping him for some ritual to resurrect You-Know-Who. The Death Eaters father Barty Crouch was arrested for his breakout of Azkaban prison.

It was by a reluctant old man that told the school that Harry Potter was the person with the foresight to call in the fraud investigators, and that he won't be competing in the competition.

Harry was mildly amused by all the shameful faces when Ron went to sit down next to him. He got up and looked at the ginger.

"No!"

It was one word, and then leaving to sit at the Hufflepuff table that told Ronald Weasley that Harry Potter wasn't going there.

_**End!**_


	6. The None Champion: Take Two

**Not so Blind**

**The None Champion**

**Take Two**

"Soooo, a weird yet deadly tournament...?" the fourteen-year-old boy hero asked the old headmaster in the antechamber with loads of teachers staring at him in shame, and the other three contestants in anger and hate.

"Yes Harry, and it's unfortunate, but whether someone else placed your name in the goblet or you did does not matter, you must compete!" he said with a sad smile and a tired sigh.

"Tis an outrage Dumblydore!" the large eight foot tall French woman in nice silk robes interrupted, rightfully outraged.

"Yes, unfortunately-!"

"Then we use the goblet again until we each have equal-!" the tall dark, ugly dark wizard head of the other school said gruffly.

The old man sighed warily. "I'm so sorry," he said shaking his head in shame. "However, the goblet will only work every four years. I believe it takes that long to recharge!" he said disappointing the other two head teachers.

"Did you try replacing its batteries?" Harry couldn't help but ask, which got him many heated glares. "Just trying to lighten the mood," he mumbled, annoyed under his breath before a real idea struck, and one that everyone could understand, not only the intelligent few who know the muggle world. "Then I have a real idea!" he chirped cheerfully as he pulled out his wand.

He then proceeded to conjure two top hats on a desk, smiling at his genius while the other people just looked at him in pity. "Seriously, you guys need to get out more!" he retorted, rolling his eyes as he handed a hat to each of the other head teachers. "You just enchant the hat to stop multiple entries, and then put your students' names in, and pull one out tomorrow or something, and then we can do this in pairs, screw the goblet!"

"E iz right!" the large French woman said with a smile. "Such a simple idea, and quite thee conjurer!" she said as she admired the material.

It wasn't long before everyone was on their way, and Harry and Cedric, the other Hogwarts champion were left to head back to their dorms. However, Cedric stopped the intrepid hero by grabbing his shoulder, only to cry out as Harry acted on instinct, twisted, and flipped him onto the floor.

"Oops, sorry dude, reflex!" Harry said sheepishly as he helped him up.

Cedric chuckled nervously looking around as he stood, hoping no one saw that. "Hey, no problem. I just thought… you know, since we're teammates and everything you would… you know, come to the Hufflepuff common room. Then I can… make sure they know you're innocent!"

"Sure thing!"

He regrets saying that now. He had been attacked the moment they entered the common room, and then stripped to his dark blue boxer shorts, strapped down on a huge obelisk, bound tightly. He honestly never would have suspected the Hufflepuffs of sacrificing wizards and witches to the Goddess Gaia, but here they are. He should have just gone back to Gryffindor; their parties are so much more fun.

"Sorry Harry!"

He looked with a sigh to see fellow fourth year in some silky and flowing yellow robes stroking her soft hand a long his strong ab-muscles. "Its such a shame but," she let go and turned her back while other Hufflepuffs wore similar robes and danced around them chanting. It was quite the catchy chant too, but when she turned back to him, she realised one thing.

Harry Potter was gone.

Then she looked to see the binds had been snapped with magic. They would look all over the Ritual Chamber but not find him.

Meanwhile Harry sighed in relief as he got to the Fat Ladies portrait in only his underwear, and the floor is cold. "Dam, never trust a Hufflepuff, they're crazy. If it weren't for my mad escape artist skills I would be done for. Not to mention, the hero never dies… well… never stays dead. Its in the unwritten rulebook of the universe!"

"If its unwritten how can it be?" the Fat Lady startled him.

He just shrugged. "Dung Bomb!" he said and she let him in where the whole of the tower paused their party looking at him in shock.

"D-did any of you know that Hufflepuffs are crazy religious fundamentalists?" he asked as if that was a normal and sane thing for a boy only in his undies to ask, with many girls blushing brightly as they made sure to taking in the sight with hidden ideas.

"We did!" the Weasley twins called out together shivering.

"Nobody ever took us serious!" one said looking sick.

"Tried to sacrifice us to Gaia they did!" the other quivered.

Harry sneered. "Then, this is WAR!" he roared out and in the spirit of battle that Gryffindor's love so much the rest of the house cheered as hidden compartments in the walls, fireplace, and paintings moved, revealing swords and spears, and crimson body armours. Then the furniture sunk down with cabinets displaying potion bombs and poisons took there place.

**End...!**

**Maybe?**


	7. The Lost Chapter: The Antidote of Doom!

**Not so Blind**

**The Lost Chapter II: The Antidote of Doom!**

James and Sirius sighed. It has been one week since Lily ate the Fabled Cookie… thunder grumbled. They looked around in concern. Dumbledore and his fellow teachers and a quarter of Slytherin House were still locked away in the dungeons, and the two pranksters wondered how much longer it would take for the Ministry to turn up.

Both James and Sirius were sitting at the teachers table either side of Lily as she happily ate her breakfast waiting, just waiting. They've been trying to create an antidote all week. Finally, they think they have it. If not, they might make matters worse.

They held their breaths in anticipation when Lily raised her glass of juice to her lips but paused again and placed it down to do her prefect duty and reprimand a student. If it weren't for them all fearing Lily the place would be absolute chaos.

She then went to take a drink again when Alice came over sitting next to James. "Hey, Lily," she interrupted, nervously greeting her best friend. James could almost hex her as she stopped Lily from drinking.

"Oh, hello Alice," she greeted pleasantly. "Oh, I think our tables run out of juice. Here have this. I feel like a cup of tea anyway," she said handing over her juice to the boys' horror and pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Oh, thanks Lily, you're the best," she said as she drained the juice dry.

"Oh, crap," James moaned, whimpering.

Lily looked at him suspiciously. "What's wrong with you two anyway?" she asked looking from one boy to the other. "You're both very quiet… why?" she asked them with suspicious eyes.

They were saved from answering as Remus sat next to Sirius. "Alice drunk the antidote didn't she?" he asked not even caring that Lily could hear him.

"A-antidote…!?" Alice squeaked out looking worried. "Oh god! I'm sorry! I didn't know! You should have told me!"

"What antidote?" Lily asked looking confused. "Did someone poison me?"

"Umm… no… umm… antidote is a special new flavour," Sirius quickly said, and hoping she buys that lame lie. "We only made that one and was wondering what you would think."

"Oh well," she shrugged with a huge grin. "I'll have to try some next time, but don't think I'll put aside some of my time. I'm a Magical Girl after all and I have to protect everyone from evil," she said as she popped a piece of toast in her teeth before grabbing her book bag. She mumbled her bye and leaving them as she skipped off too who knows where she'll be going when classes aren't in session, even though she forces the other students to 'attend'.

"If Lily wasn't drugged up by The Cookie of Doom…!" Alice paused for the thunder and streak of lightning across the enchanted ceiling. "She would not have fallen for such obvious bull! You best make some more antidotes. I have to follow that fine piece of Magical Girl ass," she sighed. "Mrs. Alice Magical Girl Lily has a nice ring to it," she said dreamlike as she got out of her seat.

James, Sirius, and Remus just watched with their mouths hanging open as Alice was blatantly checking out Lily's rear while hungrily licking her lips as she ran to catch up. The three boys just gave each other worried looks.

"So, that's two antidotes we need," Remus said worriedly. "Maybe we could persuade Lily into letting Madam Pomfrey go so we can at least get some help."

"I doubt she will, even if we tell her we need the nurse," James said sighing. "Lily has convinced herself that Pomfrey is an Evil Nurse, and that's with a capital E and N!"

"Alice and Lily," Sirius implied with a small grin that got the other two blushing and giggling, and if this were an anime they would all have huge nose bleeds because for some odd reason Japanese comic book writers think perverted thoughts equals bloody nose.

"_Remus! Sirius!" Harry interrupted the story glaring at them. "That's my mum you douche bags. She was still under the influence of The…" he paused as the thunder bangs had been getting on his nerves. He still doesn't get why they keep happening. It doesn't happen when someone says or thinks Voldemort. He paused his thought just in case someone does hate him, but was thankful for the silence._

"_The You-Know-Cookie!" he finished, but he was still glaring. Sirius just continued grinning while Remus had the decency to look sheepish. "OK, so you were having trouble getting her the antidote and Alice became infatuated with mum because the antidote sucked! Your antidote making skills needed work, but it doesn't sound that bad!"_

_They both laughed rolling their eyes. "Oh, how naive you can be Harry," Sirius said shaking his head in mock pity. "We had given Alice… The Antidote of Doom!" he said dramatically as thunder exploded outside._

_Harry just smacked his head. "How… why the hell does that keep happening… it's stupid, and doesn't make sense!" he cried out almost crying._

"_We've never really figured that out," Remus said shrugging. "It's kind of disturbing in an amusing kind of way!"_

"_Harry! Sirius! Remus!" Ginny called as she barged in to see the three sitting around talking. "I finally found you," the cute red haired girl said smiling. "Mum sent me to find you. She thinks you keep making some thunder boom all over the street since you're all together. I don't think she trust you not to be stupid."_

_Harry sighed sadly. "Sirius and Remus are just telling me about their school days during year five; about…" he sighed. "The Cookie of Doom!" he said and she was startled by the thunder looking around in bemusement. "My mum accidently ate it and she became Magical Girl Lily and apparently conquered Hogwarts from the evil teachers and Death Nibblers before imprisoning them all in the dungeons, Dumbledore included._

"_These idiots created an antidote that Neville's mum accidently drunk," he rolled his eyes as she listened. "The antidote turned out to be-."_

"_The Antidote of Doom?" she interrupted and he nodded while the thunder exploded. "That's freaky," she commented as she could tell they did nothing. "Well. I want to hear the rest too," she said closing the door and plopping down and sitting against the wall next to Harry._

"_Are you sure, it just seems to get stupider," Harry complained. "Though, I'll admit it would probably be nice to eat the You-Know-Cookie and become unstoppable."_

"_I don't think it made her unstoppable, or even powerful," Remus said with a shrug as they looked at him in surprise. "I think it just messed with her personality and lowered her inhibitions. It made her be what she wanted to. It gave her confidence to believe that she could do anything. She just had the skill and power that she almost could do ANYTHING!_

"_I still say that if she had the guts, she could have destroyed Voldemort," he finished off with a sad smile. "I had always hoped you would be like her Harry, but maybe she was right and Dumbledore is evil. He never exactly gave you a chance to be like her."_

_Harry groaned in annoyance. "Don't even think about the Girl Potion of Doom!" he said flipping them the bird and slumping in defeat as thunder boomed. "Oh, crap, there's not is there?"_

"_Don't want to talk about it!" they both quickly said tight lipped, which caused both teens to burst out laughing._

"_Well, anyway," said Sirius impishly, his cheeks pink. "We got up and chased after Alice and Lily before they did something they'll regret, or threw most of the Purebloods in 'jail' like Lily had threatened…"_

James, Sirius, and Remus followed after Lily and Alice. They would have had their other friend with them but Lily had already arrested him for being a creepy little rat. They couldn't really be annoyed with that as they tend to agree. He is a creepy little rat so they didn't try getting him out. They don't want to get lumbered in jail do they?

The three boys froze when they exited the Great Hall. Their mouths dropping open to find Alice wearing a cute black dress with a white lily in her blonde hair, and curled up in Lily's arms (now in her magical Girl outfit) while Lily giggled while Minister Fudge during his first month in office was crying as his ten aurors were down, whimpering on the ground.

Fudge was hanging upside down by his ankles by Lily's wand. He was crying and begging her to let him go. Meanwhile Alice was nibbling Lily's neck, but the red head either didn't notice or didn't mind, but it was smoking hot anyway.

"I shall not let you go evil doer!" she cried out and with a flick of her wand he was fully incapacitated. "Come my beautiful princess; let's put these evil minions and their master in jail. Lily Squad! Help me take them to jail!" she demanded to the three boys, having gotten used to being Lily Squad members.

"Oh, sweet Merlin we're going to be in so much trouble!" Remus complained as the three boys obediently complied and levitated a few men each while Lily and Alice took the Minister. They followed after her to the dungeons.

"Hey we could always help her take over the Magical World," James suggested reasonably. "If Lily's in charge they'll all stay in jail and we'll never have to worry about it again."

"Good idea," Sirius readily agreed. "I mean, with Magical Girl Lily in charge I'm sure Voldemort wouldn't stand a chance!" he snickered while the other two glared as they reached the cells. They just threw in their captured men not caring about the glaring and angry prisoners.

"Well, I suppose you have a point," James slowly agreed. "After all, Magical Girl Lily is awesome strong. She did beat Dumbledore loads of students and the other teachers."

"James, Sirius, Remus," someone whispered from behind while Lily and Alice dumped the Minister in a cell. They looked round to see Dumbledore in his cell was speaking to them. "You have to get us out of here… whatever happened to Miss. Evans doesn't seem to be wearing off."

"Hey, we don't want Lily angry at us, Professor," Sirius was quick to say. "We're working on the antidote, but Alice accidently drunk it…"

"Well that explains that," McGonagall said from in with Dumbledore gesturing to where Alice was all clingy and giggly in Lily's arms. "Next time make an antidote that works, and doesn't get drunk by someone else!"

"Try my Potion Lab," Professor Slughorn interrupted from where he sat on one of the beds. "I have some pretty good books on potions. It looks like whatever happened to her did a number to her personality and well as strength."

"Lily Squad! What are you doing!?" Lily interrupted suspiciously and making them jump and spin around.

"Umm… we were just trying to talk them into changing their evil ways!" James was quick to say as Alice was by her side holding her hand, but she didn't call him on the lie and just gazed lovingly at Lily.

"They're passed redemption now," Lily said as she patted James' head. "But it was noble of you to show such goodness to try helping these poor lost souls! Let us go Lily Squad! Let's move out!" she said pulling Alice with her, the boys followed as 'inmates' verbally abused them.

"_Well, that explains why Fudge doesn't like me," Harry interrupted looking amused. "I wonder whether I should lock him in the dungeons? He doesn't seem to have learnt his lesson!"_

"_Sounds like a plan," Ginny agreed giggling. "But I would like to hear a little about the Girl Potion of Doom!" she said smirking at both men while the thunder made them flinch._

"_Oh, that has got to be just as funny if not more so than this," Harry agreed with an evil smirk. "Maybe I should slip them some truth potion!"_

"_Truth Potion of Doom…!?" Ginny suggested and they started at the thunder. "Is there anything non-Doom that you morons made?"_

"_Umm… I don't think so," Sirius said sheepishly. "Well, except the animagus potion. That actually went rather well."_

"_Odds were you were bound to get lucky eventually," Harry commented rolling his eyes, a small smirk on his lips. "OK, so what happened next… it is kind of amusing…"_

_**to be continued…**_

_**A/N: **__If you have any amusing plotholes or contradictions, please tell me and I'll find a way to fit them in, with a shout out to you!_


	8. Hogwarts European Zoo: Case One

**Hogwarts European Zoo**

**Case One**

**The Case of the School Invasion**

It had been so many years, some boring, some fun, some learning to beat a dragon at checkers, or is it drafts, well she supposes one country calls it one, and another something else. It doesn't matter anyway, she's almost certain that was a dream, but with her grandpas she couldn't tell.

She just happily snuck through the dark and creepy corridors of the school with her wand held loosely in her right hand as she waved it around happily creating spooky noises and enchanting things to move or creek all on their own just to make the place creepier. She was just looking for her grandpas and the gang.

They mentioned a party in the letter they sent to her while she was at home in her room, in her very own bathroom in her hot-tub, unfortunately alone, just getting into herself when the stupid bird arrived. She battered the blasted bird for not knocking. He should be lucky she doesn't fry him up for supper. He ruined her good and soapy mood. Though, she might find someone fun at the party, but she couldn't find the front of the creepy and outdated castle but stumbled across the backdoor.

So now, she has to hunt for the place where you would hold a party. She paused and her sparkly green eyes watched in surprise as a boy just shot pass the intersection she was about to cross screaming, and naked with his gross butt and thing on fire with a man chasing him with his wand out, thankfully fully clothed.

She just blinked owlishly a few times before sticking her head around the corner. Yep, she could hear the faint sound of music coming from that direction. She smiled brightly, as parties go, they're never complete without setting some dude on fire. She was quick in taking her new route to the party. If she knew school could be this fun she might have gone to Hogwarts or something.

Though, maybe she could check it out. She'll be fourteen in a couple months, so that means fourth year, plus access to all that hot supple young flesh. The thought made her almost drool.

She came out of the hall into an entrance hall and some doors were open a bit ahead of her with music blurring out. She then side stepped some spells that hit the wall behind her, she just kept walking even as the wall collapsed.

The three boys that worriedly attacked her gulped as she looked to them, her long white robe flapping about in a non-existent wind. She's wearing a tight black top under it, hugging her delicate and sexy body nicely, and a short black and white ripple skirt hugging her tight little butt to perfection. She has on some white running shoes with black knee high socks.

She flipped her long, below her butt wild crimson hair in amusement. It's held back with black ties with some strands in plats. "Wedgius!" she said flicking her wand and the boys screamed as their underwear was torn up their butt cracks and she hung them on an unused torch bracket. They cried out and screamed for her to let them down, and even begged, but she wasn't really listening as she went into the party hall while putting her wand away.

It was total bliss, the loud noise, the mess, and especially the vandalism. This is the perfect party of parties. She can only hope she'll be such an awesome party planner when she starts making such awesome parties.

She looked around and saw some scantily clad girl being harassed by some guy, so she did what any awesome girl would and walked over and kicked him in the nuts where he collapsed to the ground crying, but that was OK as the music drowned out all of that.

The girl looked relived until she felt her saviours hand up her skirt and she was trapped by being pushed up against a wall. It was easy getting her hand down her panties next. The girl tried pushing her off but after a moment relaxed and was leaning on her molester and panting, little groans coming out.

"Yeah, you love that don't you, bitch," she whispered in the girl's ear as she was nibbling it and with that the girl soaked her hand gasping for breath. "Aww… you came too quick," she moaned as she pulled out her fingers, kissed the girls lips and walked off licking her fingers clean and not noticing the gawking people who realised what she had just done.

She sucked the last glob of girl cream from her fingers as she found some drinks, grabbing a bottle of bear, just a glare got the cap to pop off. "Ahh, Hope my dear…"

Hope looked from her drink with a wide grin to see her Grandpa Dumbledore. He's pretty cool and has long white hair tied back in a ponytail with a long white beard tied in twin tails down to his waist. He was also wearing bright eye-killer pink robes with little yellow ducks and black and white panda bears on them.

He was smiling with a weird pipe chuffing between his teeth, which gave off a sweet smell. "I'm happy you chose to come," he said with his twinkling blue eyes glazed over behind his half-moon spectacles. "But what happened to Fawkes? He seemed a little… well he died when he got back," he said pulling out the baby bird from his pocket. It was wrinkly and ugly and she wrinkled her nose at it.

However, when the bird saw her it squawked and cried and somehow managed to get itself back into the old man's pocket. "Oh… well, Birdy didn't knock. It's obviously a pervert and deserved the beating."

Dumbledore just nodded his head. "Well, I'll have to have words with him. This is the fourth time you've killed him. Its lucky he's immortal," he said chuckling.

"Yeah yea, whatever," she replied as she licked her lips. "I see myself a victim… I mean, very lucky girl…," she said, as she was quick to stalk the girl. She is obviously about her age and has short-cropped brown hair and light grey eyes.

"Hi!" Hope said as she snuck up on the unsuspecting girl, beaming at her. "I'm Hope Potter. I hope you don't mind that I want to take you home with me and spank that fine ass of yours, and maybe nibble it a bit!"

The girls pale cheeks brightened with embarrassment. "I-I-I'm Victoria Krum!" she stuttered out shakily. "Y-you're the G-Girl-Who-Lived."

"Yep that's me!" she agreed cheerfully. "So do you have a room here somewhere where we can do each other in private?"

The girl dropped all floppy and fainted, but Hope was quick in catching her.

_**to be continued…**_

Victoria Krum woke in her bed later that night feeling sleep in her eyes as she had had the most amazing dream of her life. Though, she couldn't imagine why the Girl-Who-Lived would do all of those naughty things to her, and wouldn't stop even when her dorm mates returned to bed, and watched them.

She shook away that weird content feeling and sighed. She could taste some kind of aftertaste lingering on her tongue and in her breath. She couldn't remember drinking anything that taste like it during the party, so what could it be? It taste quite delicious she reasoned.

Groaning a little, she looked around, trying to move but she could only wriggle, her arms and legs feeling taught. She blinked in surprise as all of her roommates are still awake sitting around her bed staring at her. Her covers weren't covering her and her eyes could only widen further as there 'she' was: Hope Potter, the Girl-Who-Lived, naked, small firm breasts and supple body, lightly toned in all the right ways.

Hope was kneeling between her spread naked legs with a vicious grin, her long crimson hair flowing wild down her back and over her shoulders almost covering her breasts, but not quite reaching her hard pink nipples.

Victoria quivered as she looked down at her own naked body, suspended between her bedposts with leather straps around her ankles and wrists. She was sticky and aching a little, spread wide for ease of access. The other girls were watching, squirming on their beds, some blatantly with hands up dresses or skirts playing with themselves, blushing.

She gulped as Hope was licking sticky goo off her lips. "Wow, I'm getting better if I can make you pass out with a cum!" Hope said gleefully. "I'm glad it only lasted a few minutes. I did offer all of your friends a go on you! I wouldn't want you to sleep through it all!" she said as the other girls got up from beds, moving closer at Hope's gesture.

Victoria could only gulp as the first girl, a plumper, but still pretty-blonde girl was placed between her thighs with masterful instruction, she got to work and Victoria moaned aloud, shivering and unable to talk even if her embarrassment would let her.


	9. The Saint: Mission I

**The Saint**

**Mission I**

Harry Potter wasn't depressed – no no no! Yes he was! He was 'depressed', kind of. He had just turned sixteen years old. Well okay so that might have actually been a few months ago because he's now attending his sixth year at his magical school: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Harry was depressed-ish, more bothered. He was more depressed than anyone could imagine-ish. Even more so than when he heard that stupid prophesy from the silly old man-ish.

Anyway, Harry was pretty depressed-ish alright. Just like… well I think you understand the picture yeah. My main dude Harry was depressed, or bored and needing some loving.

Right, where were we… oh right Harry's depressed-ish. Well who wouldn't be if they were him huh? One of his best friends is not only a ginger but a… is idiot the correct word to describe him when you don't know any worse?

Well as he was thinking. His best 'male' friend is ginger, (not that he has anything against ginger, if you're cute and female), a complete idiot and Harry often wonders whether he can become a saint if he just lets the guys in charge of that sort of thing hang out with Ronald for a sort while.

_Saint Harry Potter has a nice ring to it!_

Yeah and that's not all. His second best friends always nagging him about something (another reason he deserves to be a saint). Its seriously starting to piss him off. 'Share your feelings with me Harry; you must not bottle them up'. Yeah right. 'Ok Hermione, only if you let me relieve my anxiety in your ass.'

She may be a young nagging hag but Harry is a guy and see's she could be a fine bit of tail and chokes his chicken at night sometimes thinking of her. Well mainly of her getting it on with some other girls and letting him watch and then join in, but he's male he figured that sort of fantasy is common amongst them all. Yeah, he figures the girls aren't all that pure in those pretty little heads of theirs either, thinking of him because of his 'status' as Boy-Who-Lived and his fit bod, gorgeous eyes and handsome face, (just what he has heard around the castle from girls).

He figured that he'll have to start using his fame to his advantage. Get some girls panties off. Get some compensation off the fair-weather fans especially for all the bother they've caused him.

Hermione's and fan-girl ass took him off track for a moment there. Harry's also depressed-ish because all of his life has been manipulated by a fucking gay old man who locked his own boyfriend in jail. Yep Harry's not stupid, what with them gay robes (not that he has anything against that sort of thing or peoples choices and preferences), and the fact Dumbledore looks so sad when his 'Dark Lord' is mentioned.

Well anyway, Dumbledore is a control freak jerk. He thinks that the power the Dark Lord Voldemort knows not is love. Yeah, right. Like Harry would sacrifice himself to protect any of these pretenders. His mum did that for him, and look what happened! It hasn't been very productive with Dumbledore around.

Lily should have just waited by his bedroom door and as soon as Voldemort stood the other side shot every dangerous and deathly curse she could think of to blow him to hell. It would have likely worked too, but these people are cowards and chickens. Even running away and fleeing the country with Harry would have been a better idea.

However, all of that shit can be dealt with easily right because a few hours ago he completed some super awesome and complicated ritual that gave him some new and awesome-legendary powers! Then he had found out he inherited a mass load of stuff after Sirius (his godfather), died.

Sirius's death was a blessing in disguise as this emancipated Harry, allowing him to inherit his families' wealth, as he became the head of the Black family and Potter family. Not to mention the head of the Emrys line, the Gryffindor line, the Ravenclaw line, the Hufflepuff line, the Slytherin line, the Pendragon line, and even inherited the sword Excalibur, and a few other houses attached to Potter and Black that died out-ish.

He just dumped the beautiful sword in his trunk for safekeeping as walking around with it would likely give the idiots the wrong impression and the last thing he needs is everyone bowing to him and making him their king, or maybe… no, he has enough stress as it is, no matter the girls a king could get.

Though, he should probably at some time reclaim the sword of Gryffindor, which gave him grief as rumour spread that it actually belonged to him and not Dumbledore, but he'll deal with that when he has time. He really only wants it to spite Dumbledore anyway.

With all of his newfound wealth and inheritance, he found loads of cool magical rings that boost his powers even further with special abilities attached to all, but he doesn't have that many fingers and they were big, bulky, tacky, and ugly. They don't even have the customary invisibility charms built in. Therefore, he just wore them around his neck on a chain hidden in his robes.

Not only that but he had discovered that since he took his full inheritance and is not married and last in line of all of these bloodlines since Voldemort really is not Slytherin's heir after all, and snake-chatter as he has taken to calling it as its easier to say and spell is his birth right.

This allows him to take many wives, a few from each house of his choice to continue the founders lines, and if it turns into an orgy with only him and loads of hot girls then who is he to complain. Though, he is a nice guy so figured that he'll give the option to the houses that don't really care about pureblood crap, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, and just outright take the girls from the other two houses.

This leaves him to choose girls outside of the school for heirs to the other houses, which is his right, outside the country if he has too. He remembered that Gabrielle Delacour was quite taken with him after the fourth task, so there's an heir maker for Emrys at the least. He'll have to keep looking, or get the Goblins to search out a selection for him from around the world. He'll even accept muggle girls if they're game. He's sure some muggle-born students have cute muggle sisters that know about magic.

Magic Lore can be awesome when it gets him lots of cute girls, and most pureblood families will jump at the chance to join many of these families because of tradition or greed, it doesn't matter to him. He'll turn their daughters into nice loving girls who won't hesitate to disobey greedy family members.

However, shaking his awesomeness off for now he had a problem because he is letting the Gryff girls have the choice. He so wants to screw Ginny Weasley really hard. He can't stop thinking about how good that will feel, claiming her for himself. The look on her brothers face's when he openly makes out with her, grabbing her tight ass through her robes, buying her sexy muggle clothes for his enjoymernt.

She's a feisty red head and will make some cute heirs of Gryffindor. She's really hot and he bets she would be great in the sack. He can just imagine doing it now, but had to calm down as his 'other him' was starting to get excited at the image.

Seriously his 'other him' gets stiff just thinking about her. However, he has a dilemma that should be solve very soon and leave the way open for Saint Harry Potter. They say to really become a Saint you need to preform three miracles. He just knows that he can go far beyond the three miracles point.

Harry was grumpy-ish, well OK, amused as he walked into the Great Hall for breakfast and sat down opposite Ginny. He winked at her and her cheeks lit up delightfully while her boyfriend Dean the Douche Bag Thomas glared at him, angry and made a comment that annoyed Ginny.

"At least Harry would know how to treat a strong independent young woman like me!" she retorted to whatever he said.

Harry smirked as Dean glared more at him. "Yeah, hard and violent all night long until we pass out!" Harry agreed with her, causing a few people nearby to chock on juice as they giggled it down the wrong tube.

Ginny blushed, snickering. "Harry you naughty boy!" she laughingly reprimanded.

"Harry!" Dean growled out. "This is MY girlfriend. You should show some proper respect for women! Go and find your own girl and stop trying it on my MINE!"

"I am NO one's property Dean!" Ginny growled out as her blonde friend from Ravenclaw, Luna Lovegood sat down to enjoy breakfast with her best friend and Harry smiling with a dazed look in her sky blue eyes.

Harry smiled at her as he realised he had found his number one Ravenclaw. She is cute and fun to be around. He could just imagine her licking Ginny between her legs while he had his 'other him' up her tight little butt-hole. The thought almost made him shiver in delightful thought.

Harry and Luna both watched amused as Ginny and Dean continued bickering over Harry's comment, which was both real and in jest. Ginny was saying she took it as a compliment while Dean said it was sexist and rude, which in a way it was, but Harry loves girls and would never hurt his friend.

However, that was when Harry felt a soft sock covered foot reach across the table, stroking up his thigh with Luna looking straight at him. Her lips quirked and an odd look in her beautiful glassy eyes.

She smiled at him and blew him a small pouty kiss that nobody would have ever expected from her. He was the only one who saw. Her tongue stroked over her lips to moisten them. She slouched to reach further, her foot reaching his crotch. His hands went down to hold her soft foot to his inflating 'other him', smiling at her.

"Luna?" Ginny startled her and she sat up straight pulling her foot back, blushing. "What were you just doing?" she asked her suspiciously.

"Something you would like to do!" she admitted slyly while Dean had gone back to glaring at Harry, even more as he heard what Luna had said and thought of some weird things.

However, suddenly a swishing noise cuts through the din of tired early morning chatter. Blood splatters everyone around Dean except Ginny because of some awesome timing. She was blushing and leaning over to talk with Luna. The cute blonde minx was whispering 'secrets' into her ear making Ginny look really impressed.

Harry wondered what those two would do for him in the bedroom when he has them both. Lick each other for sure, front and back. Take it in turns to slide their mouths up and down over the shaft of his 'other him'. Harry shuddered as they both gave him a look, unaware of anything else going on for a moment when they were startled with a thud.

They all looked to see Dean had keeled over into Ginny's bowl of Vampires do NOT sparkle chocolate flakes. THE Alucard owns the company that makes them, and he apparently really hates the muggles book series Twilight!

Apparently, it makes vampires out to be sparkle butted sissies. Harry couldn't help but agree with that having seen the movie trailers at home occasionally when doing chores and whatnot. He had never really minded chores but he'll have to preform another miracle soon to put an end to that so he can get on with being awesome.

Well anyway, Ginny was surprised for a moment, before seething red with untapped rage. It made Harry feel hot all over again. There is something really sexy about a hot tempered hot cakes with a hot body, angry at some moron without any manners.

"DEAN! You bastard!" she roared with her red headed anger that all red heads have from generations of people with other hair colours picking on them. "We're over you perverted jerk! I won't eat anything you've touched!" she hissed as she got up and stormed off out of the hall.

Luna smiled at Harry, winking as she hopped out of her seat and skipped after her best friend to comfort her. Harry had to think that it was going to resort into some lesbian action and shivered as he thought about it.

Harry watched HIS two sexoliciouses leaving the hall while people screamed, some covered in globs of blood while the teachers tried to calm them down. McGonagall was already at their table checking on Dean but it was no good.

He was dead with a small-bloodied hole in the centre of his forehead.

Harry didn't pay any attention to the commotion as this is Hogwarts, and at Hogwarts something crazy happens at least once a week, if not more. Therefore, grinning like a loon he was quickly up out of his seat and charging after Ginny and Luna before they get away and he doesn't get to join in their fun.

It didn't once occur to him that they wouldn't be doing anything but cuddling, but cuddling cute girls is fine too, right? He used his new girl finding power that comes with the ring of Rowena Ravenclaw. Who knew she was into girls, huh?

Meanwhile, in the rafters hidden in the great hall, ignoring the chaos down below a small figure with wobbly bat like ears was placing away a long black riffle with scope and silencer. Dismantling it with swift ease of practice and a wide smile.

He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and black coat and shiny black shoes on his long feet. He has a long curved nose. His head is bald and on the back of his skull is a tattoo with black likes of different dimensions in a rectangle shape: a barcode. His large dark eyes took on a look of satisfaction as he closed and locked his weapon case, picking it up.

"Nobody takes the Great Harry Potter sirs sexoliciouses away from him… Dobby will make sure of that," he muttered coolly, barely audible under his breath as he pooled away silently in some white mist that faded away, no one being the wiser.

_**to be continued… **_


	10. In this Dark World

**In this Dark World**

In this dark world. I wonder. I wonder.

_Where the hell is she? _

I've been waiting near an hour. Sitting here all alone.

_Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. _

Why can't people meet when they say they will? I've phoned her but it was never answered.

_Her chair, alone, empty._

I'm normally on time, so what the…?

And if I'm running late I always call to tell her.

Anyone else I could not care less.

Its only polite for a girlfriend after all.

I've already gone through several cups of coffee. Café Lattes. My faves. I feel like I'm bursting at the seams. I feel hungry but with the coffee I've had don't believe I could even get down half a sandwich.

Sighing I wonder. Could something have happened? This makes me worry, just the thought. I'll give her a few more minutes before calling it and concerning myself with finding her.

This feels all such a waste, but still I'm concerned.

I already miss her red hair, her brown eyes. Her small nose and pouty lips. The way she laughs. The way she reprimands me for doing something stupid.

It feels like my chest clenches hard when I think of her in trouble. However, I hear her voice mocking me in my head, and nearly see the cute eye roll.

'_You worry too much!'_ She would laugh, rolling those eyes of hers. _'I'm not going to break walking down the street. I can take care of myself.'_

I guess I've just gotten paranoid during my short lifetime!

_Who could blame me though?_

The world is harsh, fraught with danger from people, strangers, to one's self.

It almost makes me laugh just thinking about it. I was the one who got her the phone and taught her how to use it. She supposedly came from an advanced people.

_Yeah, right!_

The world is thick with mischief whether deadly or not!

_I cannot help but worry._

Looking to her empty chair once more, I was startled as she sat down opposite smiling until she saw my worry.

"Y-you're an hour late!" I said in concern.

She blinked a few times frowning as she looked to her watch. "Harry… the clocks went back an hour last night!" she said while giggling as my cheeks paled. "You must have gotten here an hour early."

"Oh!"

That was all I could say, as I felt so stupid and embarrassed. However, this beauty didn't laugh at me, but reached over, taking my hands and smiled in understanding.

I couldn't help but know. She and I would be together forever.

_Love can be so paranoid. _

**END!**

**A/N:** _Just a curious thought. I was thinking of marking this up to have Naruto and other worlds included that may or may not include Harry Potter. What do you think?_


	11. Express Track

**Express Track**

I panted somewhat as I was nearly late for the express. If I had to catch the next train. It would have stopped through every insignificant town all the way to London and I would lose my objective.

I catch my breath as the doors close behind me and I make my way to the first class carriages. I bought first class because I don't want to be disturbed, no matter how extortionate ticket prices are. I could probably get a comfortable fight to Paris France cheaper. Heck, Paris Texas would be cheaper.

My name is Harriet Potter or Harri for short. I'm thirty three years old and though still slim from keeping in shape by going to the gym, or ridding my bicycle when I can I still feel like I've hit the rails so to speak. I know most wouldn't call my age bracket in this day and age middle aged but maybe I've just hit a rut. Though, I sometimes wonder whether I'm just complaining for sympathy.

I brush down my neat black business skirt and check my white blouse in the reflection of the window before taking a seat. I pull up the table under the window and place my laptop case on top. Shaking my head I can't quite get how these seats are all that better, just more space and less people, because people can't afford them, but what if.

Sighing, I comb back my crinkly dark hair with my fingers. It's still damp from my shower as I hadn't the time to blow dry it fully. My emerald green eyes reflected my depressing mood in the glass as the train pulled away from the station.

Leaning back on my seat I rest, pulling out my white coloured MP4 player and my red earphones I turned it on, and placed the ear buds in my ears. I had to turn the volume up full again and say yes to that stupid message these new players keep popping up warning you against it. It has to be the most annoying thing ever. The volume doesn't even go loud enough to hurt anyone's ears. Its just another crazy disclaimer in this messed up P-C world because of morons with nothing better to do.

I have grown over the years, no longer going with the trends or crazies. I listen to what I like no matter what it is, from hip-hop to rock or pop, even some J-pop to spice things up, even though I don't speak or understand Japanese as well as I would like, it helps. With some of the songs in English, the kids listen to these days I would rather not understand to be honest.

Relaxing and letting the music and movement of the train lulled me into a half-sleep state. My head had been rolling on my neck when my eyes flashed open. I was surprised to see two girls sitting opposite me. They were wearing school uniforms. I've heard of the school before. Its an all-girl school. They take borders. Students can range from eleven to nineteen.

These two looked to be in the higher age range. Eighteen maybe. They're both wearing short burgundy and black plaid shirts showing long creamy smooth legs and blouses that they have loosened enough that I could see both wearing white bras. Then to top things off white shin shocks, black shoes and a burgundy blazer left open.

I remember wearing my school uniform, robes. I could laugh at it now. Them morons. These girls were lucky, not only for their youth and for futures, but their continued hope. My future, or should I say past is long gone. Stupid. I regret the actions of others as if I had a choice. I had to shake these bad memories, looking back to the beautiful teenage girls.

The one sitting on the right is a blonde girl with her hair in ringlets down her back with sky blue eyes staring at me. The other is a red head with her hair cut short hanging to the bottom of her neck, straight. She had freckles dotted along her nose under her vibrant green eyes. They both wore amused smirks as they looked to me, legs parted almost enough for me to see up their skirts.

I could see the red heads hand on the blondes' thigh. Her fingers trailing the inner fresh of her supply young legs, higher than the skirt she wore, almost disappearing at times. The music continued and it was almost ironic that the next track was Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. They kept staring at me, smirking even when my eyes wandered.

My heart was beating too fast. I had heard about things, rumours and whatever, but really most of it was just rumour and 'legends' about this kind of thing, fantasy mostly, stories, porn even, but here, now. I could barely believe my eyes, and I wanted to see more. I had never been this… well, hot before, or in a long time more like, since my first girl. Since then I had always put business above pleasure and that had left me alone, lonely for human contact.

_Friendless! _

I was further taken back when the blonde licked her lips saying something. However, I couldn't hear through my music and absentmindedly pulled the ear buds out. She smiled at that as my earphones dropped to my lap. I could still hear the slight noise from the Miley Cyrus remake.

"Hi!" the blonde girl said chipper. "I'm Corry and this is my good friend Tabitha!" she said, stroking her 'good' friend Tabitha's inner thigh while her 'good' friend Tabitha continued to let her fingers trail her 'good' friends. "It's quite peaceful here away from all of the other passengers. It pays to have wealthy parents."

I gulped, unsure what to say for a moment before I realised they expected something. "I-I wouldn't know," I said but had to elaborate as they both gave me a look. "I-I mean I only grew up with… my aunt and uncle. They were, less than happy about it. I guess not everyone can be that lucky-."

"Looks like you've… moved up in the world," Tabitha commented whimsically, looking as if she was trying to ignore the bad thoughts there as she continued. Her hand completely disappeared and I watched as Corry squeezed her legs together a little.

"Though," she mumbled with a sheepish grin. "Even I think train prices are ridiculous. We could have driven home for a lot less if my dad wasn't such a worry-wart. 'You can't drive all that way just the two of you!'," she mocked while she and her squirming friend giggled.

"I had to leave my car back at school," Corry said with a cute pout. "We don't graduate until next year, so I guess we'll get to drive home then," she said, taking her hand from her friend and placing it over her skirt and holding back from fidgeting too much as she held Tabitha's hand tighter against herself.

"So… what's your name?" Tabitha asked.

"H-Harriett."

"Well its nice to see good looking women ride the train, not just us," Corry said, laughing, amused no doubt as my cheeks heated up.

"I-I'll take that as a compliment," I said, embarrassed as it had been a while since anybody had complimented me on my looks. Though, I haven't dated anyone in quite a long time, and it isn't normally normal for some stranger, like these girls to compliment a girls looks like they did.

"Well it was," Tabitha said, smirking as she slid her foot up my leg for a moment, which caused my heart to pound painfully in my chest.

However, it was at that moment that something went _crash, bang, boom,_ and the train shook and rocked. The girls were screaming in terror and I wasn't helping matters as the carriages shook and rocked, more booms, explosions, the lights in the train flickered out and plunged the carriage into darkness as it shook.

I could feel the carriage moving, tilting, as agonising screams fell to my ears from afar. It felt like time was slowing down, stilling, and that maybe it was my fault for thinking such things about a couple horney teenage girls when I remembered I've never been very religious.

The carriage moved to the side, back, slipping down and around. The girls fell to my side and I caught them. They held onto me. Their soft bodies warming me as they were crying and whimpering. I looked out of the window as lights lit a bridge and cringed, trying not to let tears fall from my eyes as I realised we were on the bridge and falling off it.

The train had tilted enough for me to see the front half in a blaze of orange and yellow flame licking away and I could smell smoke pouring through. The whole train creaked as everything went silent after a short moment, even Corry and Tabitha paused short of the odd whimpers as they held me like a lifeline, as if I could protect them as our carriage was hanging precariously over the edge of the bridge.

I could tell several carriages had snapped off the back, crashing down to the river below. It was unlikely that anyone in those carriages would have survived, and if they did, they may have drowned.

"Its Okay," I whispered into the girls ears as they hung onto me, one either side. Before this… incident, I would have been in heaven, but if we don't get off this train soon we'll be discovering whether there is an afterlife because I wont leave them. "W-we have to move, and move fast, okay?" I demanded and I could feel them both nodding against my breasts.

I take one last look out of the window and can see at least two carriages still attached to the train hanging over the edge. We're still half on the track so we're lucky for now at least. I help the girls stand and ignore the dampness on my thighs as they may have voided bladders in their fear.

Taking charge, I help them climb up towards the carriage holding ours in place. "Come on girls, you can do this," I praised while they had looked back at me with tear-stained eyes. "I don't think anyone's father is going to be concerned with you girls driving again," I said to lighten the mood.

I get them up and through the doors leading to the next carriage when I stop them from entering through the second door as I hear two loud bangs. I push them down and peer through the glass to see a man wearing military green trousers and top with a thick bushy black beard with a West Asian appearance.

He was carrying a gun.

It was an assault rifle, military issue.

"Stay down," I told the girls, wincing as this man gunned down a whimpering man who had been seriously injured and needed help, killing him without hesitation. He reminded me of Death…. I8 refuse to think of those monsters now with these girls to rescue, and perhaps like all heroes I'll get the girls in the end credits.

I pulled out my phone quickly and hit a speed dial. "Command, this is Special Agent Potter! Triangulate my position, send in an antiterrorist, and rescue team. I've been compromised. The target is likely dead and I don't know about the file, but it is a priority one case!"

The woman the other side of the line holds me for a moment before a man answers. "Anti-Skill Agents are on route. There may be…" he trailed off for a second as someone interrupted him before speaking again, different subject quickly. "We have also informed the police and military. We'll be on scene first. Can you stay down and out of the way or…?"

"I don't think I'll be able to stay out of this one sir," she replied as she pulled out a sleek black handgun from her jacket. The two girls' eyes widened as they looked to me and I just smirked. "I have to protect civilians. The terrorists don't seem to have no aversion to shooting harmless and injured people."

"Very well, do as you must!" he replied before the line went dead and I hung up the phone, placing it away.

"Y-you're s-secret services?" Tabitha asked shakily.

I couldn't help but shake my head, rolling my eyes. "No… I work… well something like that I suppose!" I trailed off, as they both look confused. "I work for a legal Mercenary company, private military that works mainly within Academy City but some… well, people with abilities outside of the city in other countries even get out of hand so we're the response. The governments pays us to do things it can't do for whatever reason. Its good money and it beats the military's restrictions, UN or whatever."

They both looked terrified as I looked up through the glass in the door when it was suddenly pulled open. The man looked down just as surprised to see me, as I was to see him when I just let my training take over, disarming him in a second and braking his face with the butt of his rifle he wasn't getting up any time soon.

I dragged the man in with us and took his extra ammo and his radio. It would do well to have a tap on what they were up to, just in case.

I could tell this was going to be a very long night.

_**to be continued…**_

_**A/N: **__I had thought about turning this into a full, proper story, but changed my mind and thought that you would like to read it anyway, here. I'll try to think of something new, more to add into the next chapter. _

_Feel free to give advice for either plot holes you would like to read about, or future chapters here, and I'm sure to listen!_

_Thanks for reading,_


	12. The End

**The End**

_The man in the blue hat and scarf fell._

It looked as if he was sliding off the bridge in slow motion. Screams sounded all around as the people watched him smash into the waves. I had to hold back his distraught wife as I stood with her, my fellow police officers could only watch the horror.

I had just passed my detective exams and this is my first case out of the gate. How had my life come to this, trying to pull someone back from the edge? He had been in serious debt, and too afraid to tell his family. He had children. How were we going to tell his children that he committed suicide?

_Died? _

His wife sobbed into my breast as I held her, comfortingly as the boats below finally arrived at scene, rescuers trying to save him, but it was unlikely. The river's current was too strong for a professional swimmer, but an amateur had little to no chance of survival. How could one addiction to gambling be so heart wrenching to see a family fall apart, missing a crucial member.

It made me feel sick holding this beautiful woman in my arms while she whimpered and sobbed. She may have been angry about the money issues, but over time they could have managed them with help. I knew of several charities that would have been happy to help them budget to pay back the debt in instalments. Most loan agencies would prefer to work out a payment scheme because they would rather something than nothing.

It was such a waste of life, and forever I would remember this day, cherishing this memory so that I could help those in need in any way I can.

Tears welled in my eyes as I held her tighter.

So this would never happen to me again.

_Father._


End file.
